Muthu's adventures.

* MUTHU & LONDON TRIP * 
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his 
wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?" 
Wife: "No! Why?" 
Muthu : "In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'...that's why." 

* MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT * 
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First 
he cut off one leg and told it to "WALK! WALK!" The cockroach walked. 
Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked. 
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same. Finally, he cut 
off its fourth leg and ordered it walk! But the cockroach didn't 
walk. Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, "I found it. 
If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf."

* MUTHU & DRIVER * 
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised 
tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror. 
Muthu shouted, "You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back. I will drive." 

* MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL * 
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to 
the washbasin. 
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin. 
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed 
towards the s ignboard "* WASH BASIN * " 

***** 

* MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART * 
Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor 
of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?" 
Muthu: "It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination." 

The following contains jokes that are offending to many (chinese, indian, malay) including myself (maybe having 1Malaysian spirit). Please do not read this post if you dislike racist jokes. By reading the racist jokes you are responsible for your own feelings.

Joke 1:
Three men were on a private aeroplane. A chinese, an indian and a malay man. The plane suddenly went out of control and the pilot who loved himself very much jumped off the plane with a parachute. The three men swiftly decided to grab the remaining parachutes and jump off the plane on the count of three. The malay counted to three and jumped off the aeroplane, followed by the chinese. Unfortunately, the poor indian man did not manage to escape.
Why was that so you racist bastard?
Because he took too long to count to three.

Joke 2:
Again, there were three men on a private aeroplane. Suddenly, the plane was about to crash again and the same pilot who was extremely terrified to have face the same situation again, jumped off immediately while ignoring the three passengers on board. This time there were no parachutes, so the three men decided to pray and hope that their Gods would save them from this reoccurring nightmare. The indian prayed and jumped off the plane, he survived the fall. The chinese followed and he was safe as well. Unfortunately, the malay did not survive.
Wow the malay died this time? What’s the issue now?
How was he supposed to find the Qibla in a state of panic?

Joke 3:
This time there were three men on a bus. A chinese, an indian and a malay (if you’ve noticed i arranged this alphabetically to avoid any misunderstanding). The chinese sat at the back of the bus, the malay sat in front of the chinese and the indian sat at the front of the bus (all in the same column if that makes sense). A robber with a gun suddenly came on the front of the bus and demanded for money. The bus driver ran out with fear almost immediately. The robber yelled out clearly that nobody was to move or else he would open fire. Suddenly the chinese who was curious and did not want to miss out on what was happening as he was not able to clearly witness the incident, he attempted to take a peek on what was going on at the front of the bus. The robber gave his warning and he was a man of his words and so he pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, the chinese took the shot.
But he was blocked the the indian and the malay?
Yes but they prayed. The indian at the front shifted his head from left to right repeatedly and dodged the bullet. The malay bent down while praying and also dodged the bullet. The chinese who wanted to know got to know.

In the event that you are currently feeling offended and are hating me, perhaps some non-offensive jokes would be able to calm you down.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the road got the wrong answer.

Why is the sea blue?
This is due to the sound that the fishes in the sea make.
“blook blook blook” =(epic translation)= blue

One day Batman, Spiderman and Superman decided to kick each other in the nuts but only spiderman felt the pain. Why?

He wasn’t wearing his super-underpants.

Which animal is known to be stingy?
The horse. When he runs, he produces the sound “kedekut kedekut kedekut”.

What do you call a blind deer?
Hmm i have “no eye deer”.

There was once a blind Chinese Emperor. Who?
Kang Xi. (Can’t See)

3 men with a project

There are three men, a malay, an indian and a chinese. all three are working for a contractor. one day, the contractor got a new project of building a small guard house. he then instruct all three of them with different task.

first the malay guy. he says "you, you are incharge with the foundation and the walls".

then he told the indian guy, "you, you are incharge with the roof and the paintings"

finally, he told the chinese guy, "you, you are incharge with the supplies of the material".

a month pass and only two guys are working on the project till its finish. the malay and indian guy. when the contractor arrives to have a final look, both of them complain that they have to procure the material themselves because the chinese who are incharge with supplies are missing since the first day.

so, the contractor decide, its ok, he wont pay him and go ahead inside the guardhouse to inspect.

when he opens up the door, come this chinese guy jumping from behind the door yelling "supppppliessssssss" (suprise!).

the contractor faint.

M iss ing.

Get Vietnamese workers, dogs missing .
Get Ba ng ladeshi workers, Malay girls missing .
Get Indonesian workers, money missing .
Get Indian workers, jewelleries missing .
Get Chinese workers, husbands missing .
Call the police, the evidence goes missing ,
Call the lawyers, the judge go missing ,
Call the ministry of transport, the reports go missing
Change the government, funds go missing ,
Say something and you may be missing .




missing no good

New car

one day an indian, chinese and malay each got a car. so they decided to bless the car in their own ways.

The indian sprinkled holy water on the car.
The chinese drove his car underwater.
The malay cut the exhaust pipe off.

Geng-Geng

Indian gang ahow up with parang.

Chinese gang show up with bleached hair and wooden sticks.

Malay gang show up late with motorbike helmet.

Dating Malay, Chinese, and Indian Girls.

Malay girl

1st date: You get to hold hands

2nd date: You get a goodbye kiss.

3rd date: You both get caught by JAIS.

Chinese girl

1st date: You take her to a restaurant.

2nd date: You take her to an expensive restaurant.

3rd date: You take her to a very expensive restaurant and buy her a diamond necklace. You get to hold her hand later that night.
[I]
Indian girl

1st date: You meet her parents.

2nd date: She meets your parents.

3rd date: Wedding night.

The genie.

A drunkard jobless Indian stumbled onto a lamp. He rubbed on it and a magical genie Singh with a turban appeared and said "I grant you two wishes, Macha.." The Indian thought for a while and said "OK, I want to be rich like a Chinaman! Poof! When the smoke disappeared, the Indian was smartly dressed, hair jelled and combed back like Chow Yuen Fatt complete with handphone in hand. As he walked towards his brand new shiny Mercedes, he noticed his own reflection. Not only was he smartly dressed, he was also much fairer in complexion. The shocked Indian angrily summoned the genie and complained " Are you deaf or what? I said I wanted to be rich like a Chinaman, not become a Chinaman!" I don't want to be a Chinaman because they cheat, lie and con their way to become rich..." The genie reminded him that he's entitled to one more wish "What do you want then, Muthu?" To which Muthu quickly replied " I just want to be rich and I don't want to work!" Poof! He was transformed into a Bumiputra...

sigh

In Malaysia...

If you're not lazy, you're not Malay,
If you're not greedy, you're not Chinese,
If you don't get drunk every night, you're not Indian~~~

Malaysian in Space

Dr. Mahathir was about to send the first Malaysian rocket into space.

3 potential astronauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.

Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid for it?"

Muthu thinks to himself and says, "1 million ringgit."
"Why so much?" asks Dr. M.
"Nowadays toddy wery expensive, Datuk..." replies Muthu.
"I see," said Dr. M. "Thank you... please ask the Malay guy to come here."
So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question.
"Uh... 2 million boleh lah," replies the Malay applicant.
"2 million? That's a lot of money! Even the aneh before you only asked for one million!"
"You see, Datuk," explained Mat. "I have 4 wives and 15 children...so, 20 of us in the family, we need a lot of money to support ourselves..."
"I see," said Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask the Chinese guy to come up here now?"

The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid?"
Ah Chong thinks for a while, and suddenly says, "3 million."
Mahathir is shocked. "WHAT?!?! 3 million? Why so much?!"
Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer, and whispers, "One million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send the aneh into space."