World Cup

A Korean guy asked God:

"God when will Korea win the World cuppa?"

God said
"50 years"

The Korean Guy cried because he wont live to see his country team win

A Singaporean guy ask God:

"God when will Singapore wins the world cup arh?"

God said
"100 years"

The Singaporean guy cried because he and his son wont live to see his country team win.

A Malaysian guy ask God:

"God when will Malaysia win the world cup la?"

God cried instead.

ONLY MAHATHIR UNDERSTANDS SAMY VELLU

Samy Vellu was visiting India when he fell and broke his jaw. He was unable to speak.

Being the great leader, he continued his grand tour. On the last week of his visit, although still unable to speak, Samy insisted on sending a message home to his Cabinet colleagues.

Samy caught a chicken and showed it to the camera.

Next he took a goat, and showed it to the camera.

Finally he took a bag and displayed it in front of the camera.

Dr Ling was the first to see the video clip. He said, "Samy is telling us that India has insufficient food because he showed us a chicken and a goat and he wants Malaysia to donate bags of rice."

Mahathir watched silently then said, "No lah....what Samy is trying to say is HE IS COMING BACK." The whole Cabinet was puzzled and looked to the old man for an explanation. Mahathir reasoned, "AYAM KAMBING BAG.".... ("I am coming back" in Indian accent)

O hi there!


Swimming hero

Last night, an incident took place at Boat Quay. What happened was some idiot was trying to show off and declared that he would swim across the Singapore River.

He jumped in and started swimming. But before he could reach the halfway mark, he started to panic and started to shout for help.

Being typical Singaporeans, a crowd started to gather to watch and yet no attempt was made by anybody to save that poor chap.

Suddenly there was a splash and the crowd turned to see a guy doing what seemed like a desperate attempt to reach the drowning victim. It was clear that this hero couldn't swim !
Luckily a tongkang filled with tourists was passing by and the operator saw the incident and picked both men from the water. The crowd cheered !

Back on shore, the crowd cheered again as the hero stepped off the tongkang. "Steady Lah !" and "Awright, man !" were among the many congratulations shouted.

The hero looked angry and shouted "Ka ni na! Siang too wa loh chui?" (*%#@! Who pushed me into the water?")

Ready for take off.


Golden inside


Telur Goreng


Raja Bomoh Funny Picture Collection

Collected from various sos around the internet. 








Supernatural?

There was this case in a hospital's intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and always on Friday mornings, regardless of their medical conditions.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural. So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause.

Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. Some held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil....

As the time approached, their hearts began beating anxiously, and with every beat of the clock, everyone held their breath........ .... Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, came into the room and unplugged the life support system so that she could use the vacuum cleaner.

Malaysian Traffic lights


Polis vs Negro


An ang-mor, Ahbeng and a Mat....

An ang-mor, an ahbeng and a Mat were driving through the desert when their jeep suddenly broke down. The only supplies they brought were a bottle of water and an umbrella. The ang-mor swiped the bottle of water and walked off. Ahbeng took the umbrella and went in a different direction. The Mat, unfazed, ripped the jeep door off and did likewise.

3 days later, the men were rescued by a search party. The media was amazed on how they survived for 3 days in the desert, and asked them how they managed it.

The ang-mor replied, "Oh I carried a bottle of water and rationed myself to a minimum amount per day."

The Ahbeng answered, "I used the umbrella to shade myself in the daytime so that I wouldn't lose water by dehydration."

The Mat boasted, "You see ah, brudder, I carried thees jeep door, so dat when I was feeling hot, I only have to wind down the window, lah." 

Smart girl

PM was seated next to a little girl on an airplane that was
leaving KLIA. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that
flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow
passenger."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and
said to Pak Lah, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know", said PM, "How about who is going to win the
next election?"

"OK", she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the
same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out
a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you
suppose that is?"

PM thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

The little girl then asks, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss
who is going to win the next election when you don't know shit?"

The grumpy pilot

Samy said: “If I throw a One Thousand Ringgit Note down there, the one who picked it up must be very happy.
[Note: One Thousand Ringgit Notes no longer exist]

Narjib said: “If I throw Two Five Hundred Ringgit Notes down there, then there would be Two very happy persons.

Pak Lah said: “If I throw Ten One Hundred Ringgit Notes, then ada Ten People memang happy.
[Note: Highest amount per note is One Hundred Ringgit]

Pilot mumbling to himself: “Why not throw yourselves down there, let 28 Million people happy?”

Russel Peters - Arab jokes



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