They be pimping in the kampung ♪
Does this kancil look familiar? =\
And we must not forget Malaysia's latest pride and joy, the original creative design of the.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
inspirataxi.
The First Malaysian in Space
Mahathir finally sends a Malaysian into space courtesy of the Russians. Finally, after months of training, the Malaysian astronaut and a chimpanzee are blasted off into space.
Once in orbit, the Malaysian waits for instructions. The screen flickers and the instrucions are flashed on it:
"Chimpanzee, execute space manuever No. 23B"
The chimp takes over flight control and carries out the manuever. The Malaysian astronaut is impressed but patient... he knows his instructions will come and they'll probably be more complex than what the chimp just did.
The screen flickers again and more instructions appear:
"Chimpanzee, carry out scientific experiment No. 234"
The chimp goes to the lab and mixes chemicals and carries out all sorts of complex scientific experiments. While he's doing this, the Malaysian astronaut is impatient. He speaks to Ground Control tru the comm link: "Eh Control, how come I got nothing to do man... train for so long but the monyet does all the important work but I'm smarter than the monyet"
Finally Ground Control responds: "Be patient, your instructions are coming soon"
Finally, the monkey rejoins the Malaysian astronaut and they wait for the instructions from the screen.
The screen flickers and the message appears....
"Prepare for new instructions...."
A small door under the screen opens. Inside, there is a compartment with a wrapped item inside.....
"Malaysian astronaut, remove the item and unwrap then wait for further instructions"
The Malaysian astronaut unwraps the item and finds a banana inside. "Must be biogenetic banana" he thinks...
The screen flickers again....
"Malaysian astronaut, please feed the monkey"
Once in orbit, the Malaysian waits for instructions. The screen flickers and the instrucions are flashed on it:
"Chimpanzee, execute space manuever No. 23B"
The chimp takes over flight control and carries out the manuever. The Malaysian astronaut is impressed but patient... he knows his instructions will come and they'll probably be more complex than what the chimp just did.
The screen flickers again and more instructions appear:
"Chimpanzee, carry out scientific experiment No. 234"
The chimp goes to the lab and mixes chemicals and carries out all sorts of complex scientific experiments. While he's doing this, the Malaysian astronaut is impatient. He speaks to Ground Control tru the comm link: "Eh Control, how come I got nothing to do man... train for so long but the monyet does all the important work but I'm smarter than the monyet"
Finally Ground Control responds: "Be patient, your instructions are coming soon"
Finally, the monkey rejoins the Malaysian astronaut and they wait for the instructions from the screen.
The screen flickers and the message appears....
"Prepare for new instructions...."
A small door under the screen opens. Inside, there is a compartment with a wrapped item inside.....
"Malaysian astronaut, remove the item and unwrap then wait for further instructions"
The Malaysian astronaut unwraps the item and finds a banana inside. "Must be biogenetic banana" he thinks...
The screen flickers again....
"Malaysian astronaut, please feed the monkey"
Logik
A World Bank development official went into a kampung to help the residents improve economically.
New car
one day an indian, chinese and malay each got a car. so they decided to bless the car in their own ways.
The indian sprinkled holy water on the car.
The chinese drove his car underwater.
The malay cut the exhaust pipe off.
The indian sprinkled holy water on the car.
The chinese drove his car underwater.
The malay cut the exhaust pipe off.
3 thieves
one night, 3 thieves broke into a house. Upon entering, they broke up and went searching around the house for valuables. unfortunately, the owner heard their footsteps and came down to check, he saw the 3 thieves and gave them a chase. The 3 thieves ran until they reached an alley and so thought it would be a good place to hide. the 1st thief found a sack of 'pedigree' dog food and so he hid inside the sack of dog food, the 2nd thief found a sack of 'whiskers' cat food and so he hid inside the sack of cat food, the 3rd thief was searching frantically for somewhere to hide when he spotted a sack of pork meat so without much hesitation, he hid inside.
when the owner finally reached the alley, he noticed some movement in those sacks. slowly, he came closer to the sack of pedigree and gave it a slight nudge. "Woff Woff!!" imitated the thief. so the owner thought it was just a hungry dog, then he came closer to the sack of whiskers and gave it a slight nudge. "Miao ~ !!" imitated the thief. so the man thought it was just a hungry cat. lastly, he went to the sack of pork meat and gave it a slight nudge. "Woi !! Jangan kacau la !!"
when the owner finally reached the alley, he noticed some movement in those sacks. slowly, he came closer to the sack of pedigree and gave it a slight nudge. "Woff Woff!!" imitated the thief. so the owner thought it was just a hungry dog, then he came closer to the sack of whiskers and gave it a slight nudge. "Miao ~ !!" imitated the thief. so the man thought it was just a hungry cat. lastly, he went to the sack of pork meat and gave it a slight nudge. "Woi !! Jangan kacau la !!"
Geng-Geng
Indian gang ahow up with parang.
Chinese gang show up with bleached hair and wooden sticks.
Malay gang show up late with motorbike helmet.
Excess
4 friends, an Indonesian, a French, a Malay, and a Chinese, went hiking on a hill together. When they reached the top, the Indonesian took out a cigarette and started smoking halfway before throwing his pack of cigarettes down the hill. He said, "My country lacks of everything except of cigarettes."
Not to be outdone, the French took out an expensive bottle of fragrance, put it on, and threw the remaining down the hill. "My country lacks of everything except of fragrances."
When they both turned their heads to the Chinese, they looked in horror as the Chinese kicked his Malay friend down the hill. "My country ah, what also don't have, only have alot of Malays."
Not to be outdone, the French took out an expensive bottle of fragrance, put it on, and threw the remaining down the hill. "My country lacks of everything except of fragrances."
When they both turned their heads to the Chinese, they looked in horror as the Chinese kicked his Malay friend down the hill. "My country ah, what also don't have, only have alot of Malays."
Dating Malay, Chinese, and Indian Girls.
Malay girl
1st date: You get to hold hands
2nd date: You get a goodbye kiss.
3rd date: You both get caught by JAIS.
Chinese girl
1st date: You take her to a restaurant.
2nd date: You take her to an expensive restaurant.
3rd date: You take her to a very expensive restaurant and buy her a diamond necklace. You get to hold her hand later that night.
[I]
Indian girl
1st date: You meet her parents.
2nd date: She meets your parents.
3rd date: Wedding night.
1st date: You get to hold hands
2nd date: You get a goodbye kiss.
3rd date: You both get caught by JAIS.
Chinese girl
1st date: You take her to a restaurant.
2nd date: You take her to an expensive restaurant.
3rd date: You take her to a very expensive restaurant and buy her a diamond necklace. You get to hold her hand later that night.
[I]
Indian girl
1st date: You meet her parents.
2nd date: She meets your parents.
3rd date: Wedding night.
The genie.
A drunkard jobless Indian stumbled onto a lamp. He rubbed on it and a magical genie Singh with a turban appeared and said "I grant you two wishes, Macha.." The Indian thought for a while and said "OK, I want to be rich like a Chinaman! Poof! When the smoke disappeared, the Indian was smartly dressed, hair jelled and combed back like Chow Yuen Fatt complete with handphone in hand. As he walked towards his brand new shiny Mercedes, he noticed his own reflection. Not only was he smartly dressed, he was also much fairer in complexion. The shocked Indian angrily summoned the genie and complained " Are you deaf or what? I said I wanted to be rich like a Chinaman, not become a Chinaman!" I don't want to be a Chinaman because they cheat, lie and con their way to become rich..." The genie reminded him that he's entitled to one more wish "What do you want then, Muthu?" To which Muthu quickly replied " I just want to be rich and I don't want to work!" Poof! He was transformed into a Bumiputra...
sigh
In Malaysia...
If you're not lazy, you're not Malay,
If you're not greedy, you're not Chinese,
If you don't get drunk every night, you're not Indian~~~
If you're not lazy, you're not Malay,
If you're not greedy, you're not Chinese,
If you don't get drunk every night, you're not Indian~~~
Malaysian in Space
Dr. Mahathir was about to send the first Malaysian rocket into space.
3 potential astronauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.
Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid for it?"
Muthu thinks to himself and says, "1 million ringgit."
"Why so much?" asks Dr. M.
"Nowadays toddy wery expensive, Datuk..." replies Muthu.
"I see," said Dr. M. "Thank you... please ask the Malay guy to come here."
So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question.
"Uh... 2 million boleh lah," replies the Malay applicant.
"2 million? That's a lot of money! Even the aneh before you only asked for one million!"
"You see, Datuk," explained Mat. "I have 4 wives and 15 children...so, 20 of us in the family, we need a lot of money to support ourselves..."
"I see," said Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask the Chinese guy to come up here now?"
The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid?"
Ah Chong thinks for a while, and suddenly says, "3 million."
Mahathir is shocked. "WHAT?!?! 3 million? Why so much?!"
Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer, and whispers, "One million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send the aneh into space."
3 potential astronauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.
Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid for it?"
Muthu thinks to himself and says, "1 million ringgit."
"Why so much?" asks Dr. M.
"Nowadays toddy wery expensive, Datuk..." replies Muthu.
"I see," said Dr. M. "Thank you... please ask the Malay guy to come here."
So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question.
"Uh... 2 million boleh lah," replies the Malay applicant.
"2 million? That's a lot of money! Even the aneh before you only asked for one million!"
"You see, Datuk," explained Mat. "I have 4 wives and 15 children...so, 20 of us in the family, we need a lot of money to support ourselves..."
"I see," said Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask the Chinese guy to come up here now?"
The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid?"
Ah Chong thinks for a while, and suddenly says, "3 million."
Mahathir is shocked. "WHAT?!?! 3 million? Why so much?!"
Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer, and whispers, "One million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send the aneh into space."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)