An ang-mor, Ahbeng and a Mat....
An ang-mor, an ahbeng and a Mat were driving through the desert when their jeep suddenly broke down. The only supplies they brought were a bottle of water and an umbrella. The ang-mor swiped the bottle of water and walked off. Ahbeng took the umbrella and went in a different direction. The Mat, unfazed, ripped the jeep door off and did likewise.
3 days later, the men were rescued by a search party. The media was amazed on how they survived for 3 days in the desert, and asked them how they managed it.
The ang-mor replied, "Oh I carried a bottle of water and rationed myself to a minimum amount per day."
The Ahbeng answered, "I used the umbrella to shade myself in the daytime so that I wouldn't lose water by dehydration."
The Mat boasted, "You see ah, brudder, I carried thees jeep door, so dat when I was feeling hot, I only have to wind down the window, lah."
3 days later, the men were rescued by a search party. The media was amazed on how they survived for 3 days in the desert, and asked them how they managed it.
The ang-mor replied, "Oh I carried a bottle of water and rationed myself to a minimum amount per day."
The Ahbeng answered, "I used the umbrella to shade myself in the daytime so that I wouldn't lose water by dehydration."
The Mat boasted, "You see ah, brudder, I carried thees jeep door, so dat when I was feeling hot, I only have to wind down the window, lah."
Smart girl
PM was seated next to a little girl on an airplane that was
leaving KLIA. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that
flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow
passenger."
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and
said to Pak Lah, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know", said PM, "How about who is going to win the
next election?"
"OK", she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the
same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out
a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you
suppose that is?"
PM thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
The little girl then asks, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss
who is going to win the next election when you don't know shit?"
leaving KLIA. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that
flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow
passenger."
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and
said to Pak Lah, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know", said PM, "How about who is going to win the
next election?"
"OK", she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the
same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out
a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you
suppose that is?"
PM thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
The little girl then asks, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss
who is going to win the next election when you don't know shit?"
The grumpy pilot
Samy said: “If I throw a One Thousand Ringgit Note down there, the one who picked it up must be very happy.
[Note: One Thousand Ringgit Notes no longer exist]
Narjib said: “If I throw Two Five Hundred Ringgit Notes down there, then there would be Two very happy persons.
Pak Lah said: “If I throw Ten One Hundred Ringgit Notes, then ada Ten People memang happy.
[Note: Highest amount per note is One Hundred Ringgit]
Pilot mumbling to himself: “Why not throw yourselves down there, let 28 Million people happy?”
[Note: One Thousand Ringgit Notes no longer exist]
Narjib said: “If I throw Two Five Hundred Ringgit Notes down there, then there would be Two very happy persons.
Pak Lah said: “If I throw Ten One Hundred Ringgit Notes, then ada Ten People memang happy.
[Note: Highest amount per note is One Hundred Ringgit]
Pilot mumbling to himself: “Why not throw yourselves down there, let 28 Million people happy?”
Samy and the Psychiatric ward.
Samy visited the psychiatric ward yesterday.
All the patients cheered "Hurray!!!" and clapped very loudly for him
But there is one patient who sat quietly in the corner ignoring Samy.
Samy asked with a confused look: "Why, why does he not welcome me?"
Doctor: "He is now normal and waiting to be discharged today."
All the patients cheered "Hurray!!!" and clapped very loudly for him
But there is one patient who sat quietly in the corner ignoring Samy.
Samy asked with a confused look: "Why, why does he not welcome me?"
Doctor: "He is now normal and waiting to be discharged today."
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