The following contains jokes that are offending to many (chinese, indian, malay) including myself (maybe having 1Malaysian spirit). Please do not read this post if you dislike racist jokes. By reading the racist jokes you are responsible for your own feelings.

Joke 1:
Three men were on a private aeroplane. A chinese, an indian and a malay man. The plane suddenly went out of control and the pilot who loved himself very much jumped off the plane with a parachute. The three men swiftly decided to grab the remaining parachutes and jump off the plane on the count of three. The malay counted to three and jumped off the aeroplane, followed by the chinese. Unfortunately, the poor indian man did not manage to escape.
Why was that so you racist bastard?
Because he took too long to count to three.

Joke 2:
Again, there were three men on a private aeroplane. Suddenly, the plane was about to crash again and the same pilot who was extremely terrified to have face the same situation again, jumped off immediately while ignoring the three passengers on board. This time there were no parachutes, so the three men decided to pray and hope that their Gods would save them from this reoccurring nightmare. The indian prayed and jumped off the plane, he survived the fall. The chinese followed and he was safe as well. Unfortunately, the malay did not survive.
Wow the malay died this time? What’s the issue now?
How was he supposed to find the Qibla in a state of panic?

Joke 3:
This time there were three men on a bus. A chinese, an indian and a malay (if you’ve noticed i arranged this alphabetically to avoid any misunderstanding). The chinese sat at the back of the bus, the malay sat in front of the chinese and the indian sat at the front of the bus (all in the same column if that makes sense). A robber with a gun suddenly came on the front of the bus and demanded for money. The bus driver ran out with fear almost immediately. The robber yelled out clearly that nobody was to move or else he would open fire. Suddenly the chinese who was curious and did not want to miss out on what was happening as he was not able to clearly witness the incident, he attempted to take a peek on what was going on at the front of the bus. The robber gave his warning and he was a man of his words and so he pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, the chinese took the shot.
But he was blocked the the indian and the malay?
Yes but they prayed. The indian at the front shifted his head from left to right repeatedly and dodged the bullet. The malay bent down while praying and also dodged the bullet. The chinese who wanted to know got to know.

In the event that you are currently feeling offended and are hating me, perhaps some non-offensive jokes would be able to calm you down.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the road got the wrong answer.

Why is the sea blue?
This is due to the sound that the fishes in the sea make.
“blook blook blook” =(epic translation)= blue

One day Batman, Spiderman and Superman decided to kick each other in the nuts but only spiderman felt the pain. Why?

He wasn’t wearing his super-underpants.

Which animal is known to be stingy?
The horse. When he runs, he produces the sound “kedekut kedekut kedekut”.

What do you call a blind deer?
Hmm i have “no eye deer”.

There was once a blind Chinese Emperor. Who?
Kang Xi. (Can’t See)

An Old Imam

An old kampung imam had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.

1. The Holy Quran.
2. A fifty ringgit note.
3. A bottle of whiskey.
4. And a Playboy magazine.

'I'll just hide behind the door," the old imam said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up."

"If it's the holy book, he's going to be an Imam like me, and what a blessing that would be!"

"If he picks up the fifty ringgit note, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too."

"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and God, what a shame that would be."

"And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room..

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Holy Book and placed it under his arm. He picked up the fifty ringgit note and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine's centerfold.

"God have mercy," the old imam disgustedly whispered. "He's going to be an Umno Policitian!"

3 men with a project

There are three men, a malay, an indian and a chinese. all three are working for a contractor. one day, the contractor got a new project of building a small guard house. he then instruct all three of them with different task.

first the malay guy. he says "you, you are incharge with the foundation and the walls".

then he told the indian guy, "you, you are incharge with the roof and the paintings"

finally, he told the chinese guy, "you, you are incharge with the supplies of the material".

a month pass and only two guys are working on the project till its finish. the malay and indian guy. when the contractor arrives to have a final look, both of them complain that they have to procure the material themselves because the chinese who are incharge with supplies are missing since the first day.

so, the contractor decide, its ok, he wont pay him and go ahead inside the guardhouse to inspect.

when he opens up the door, come this chinese guy jumping from behind the door yelling "supppppliessssssss" (suprise!).

the contractor faint.

Mat on the moon

Q: A Malay person on the moon is a called? 

A: A problem

 Q: A group or Malay people on the moon is called? 

A: problemS 

 Q: The entire Malay population on the moon is called? 

A: Problem solve

Malaysian Special Kangkang style

Roadtax of a Bugatti